


Time Flies (and leaves a shadow behind)

by katie76842



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Canon Divergent - post crossover, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-10 20:50:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13509531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katie76842/pseuds/katie76842
Summary: It was easy to tell herself that sleeping with Sara was just a one-time thing.After all, there was literally nothing else to suggest it would be a recurring situation. Alex was still getting over Maggie, for starters. Things were awkward as hell, considering she’d never found herself in that situation before. Despite the fact that they’d ended on friendly hug-related terms.That wasn’t even delving into the whole they were from literally different worlds, and the fact that Alex found herself solidly living in 2018 while Sara was a time-traveler. It was meant to be a one-time thing. A wedding hookup that had ended surprisingly well. It was that simple, and that easy to accept. Nothing to freak out about.Their second time ends up happening three months later.And eventually, she loses count.





	Time Flies (and leaves a shadow behind)

**Author's Note:**

> For Sam. I hope you enjoy!

It was easy to tell herself that sleeping with Sara was just a one-time thing.

After all, there was literally _nothing_ else to suggest it would be a recurring situation. Alex was still getting over Maggie, for starters. Things were awkward as hell, considering she’d never found herself in that situation before. Despite the fact that they’d ended on friendly hug-related terms.

That wasn’t even delving into the whole they were from literally different worlds, and the fact that Alex found herself solidly living in 2018 while Sara was a time-traveler.

It was meant to be a one-time thing. A wedding hookup that had ended surprisingly well. It was that simple, and that easy to accept. Nothing to freak out about.

.

Their second time ends up happening three months later.

And there are multiple steps that lead to it.

It starts with Kara giving her those big puppy-dog eyes as she holds up an invitation, “Look! It’s Barry’s twenty-ninth birthday party, and they’re having a huge party, with everyone! We have to go.”

“We don’t,” Alex replies, incredulous, “Do I have to remind you what happened the last time we went to another earth?" because if Alex can help it, she’d prefer to stay far, far away from that earth and from any situation like the one they’d been put in there, for the rest of her life.

“Of course not! But come on, we barely got enough time to enjoy ourselves last time,” Kara pauses and Alex thinks about their first night on Earth-1, and she flushes, before her sister sighs, over-dramatically, “I guess I can just go by myself to Earth-1.”

And that discussion leads Alex to be sipping some whiskey – slowly, because she still isn’t entirely ready to have her guard completely down – and looking around Barry and Iris’s new apartment. There are a decent amount of people here, people she’d met and fought with and it’s – it’s okay. It’s nice.

The cake was really good, too.

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” comes from behind her and she nearly drops her tumbler as she spins around to see Sara.

Sara, dressed in tight jeans and – huh, Alex really hadn’t embellished how naturally pouty her lips were in the times she’d thought about her… experience with Sara. Even as she was giving Alex one of those little smirks.

“Sara! Hi. I – you – here, too. Hi,” she repeats and can feel her cheeks burn as Sara’s smirk widens. With a deep breath, she turns back to her drink and takes a bigger sip as she gathers herself.

They fought Nazis together. They’d had a couple talks together that ended up being somewhat comforting, even. But it doesn’t erase the fact that Sara had been her one-night stand. It doesn’t erase the fact that she’d seen and touched Sara in a way that she’d done with very few women, and never had let her inhibitions down so fast like that.

“I didn’t expect you here, either,” she manages to get out and she feels less like a stuttering idiot.

After all, it wasn’t like they’d left things awkwardly. Mostly.

Sara tilts her head, “No? Do you forget that you’re on _my_ earth?” she teases as she deftly pours herself her own glass.

Alex arches an eyebrow, “Did you forget you’re in _my_ time?”

Something warm rushes through her when those bright blue eyes catch and hold her own gaze. “ _Touché_ ,” Sara grins, throwing back her whiskey and pouring herself another, “Truth is, I didn’t know we were going to make it back in time for the big celebration, but the team deserves a fun night.”

She takes in the music and the dancing and the general _happy_ atmosphere around them and nods, “Well, I think this is an appropriate setting for a fun night.”

“Yeah, we’re getting there,” Sara’s voice dips and the way she looks at Alex turns that pleasantly warm feeling into a hotter one that shoots right through her.

Because her memories of the night they’d spent together were a _bit_ hazy, it was true. But she wasn’t drunk enough that night to forget how muscular Sara was or how hot her mouth was or how talented her fingers were and –

She quickly gulps down another sip of her drink as her cheeks heat up, the memories igniting a heat settling low in her stomach.

Sara is standing there, though, only inches away and watching her with that amused look that makes Alex wonder what she’s thinking as she sips at her drink. And Alex is – well, she can feel herself blush because Sara has seen her naked and this is still a situation she’s yet to find herself in with anyone.

This standing casually with someone who she’d had sex with but wasn’t a Thing with.

“How are you doing? With – everything,” Sara asks, tone casual but genuinely wondering, “You know. Moving on and looking toward the future and all.”

It only takes Alex a few seconds to answer automatically, “Pretty good,” because people asking how she’s doing post-breakup has been – frequent, and this is just now her default. But when she takes a second to think about it, she realizes it’s actually true. The thought makes her smile, “Really good.”

Sara’s smile meets hers, “I’m glad. I’ve wondered from time to time.”

“So, where are you coming from?” the words bubble up because she can’t let herself dwell on the whole sex thing and the fact that Sara thinks she looks good naked or why that’s popping into her head right now knowing that Sara has thought about her and their last time spent together _from time to time_ , “Or, uh, should I ask _when_ are you coming from?”

The blonde sighs, casting a look across the room, “1623. Before that, 1701. Not as lively as our usual adventures, honestly, but we needed to recharge.”

Alex nods, holding Sara’s gaze, “So. Fun night.”

“To fun nights,” Sara holds her glass out, and she clinks hers against it.

It echoes the first night they’d met, and the liquor is just as good and the atmosphere is jovial and lowkey enough to get Alex to lower her guard. And the following steps meld together in a not-quite drunk but pleasantly buzzed mix of Kara making Alex dance with her, quickly followed by her sister moving to dance with other people while Sara slides behind Alex.

And her body is all lean and warm and hot against her back, and it’s easy to fall into a rhythm with her and things actually seem like they will go well tonight, despite what all other things she has heard about Kara experiencing with these people and what she’d experienced with them would have lead her to believe.

A couple of hours slide by faster now than they had earlier and it’s actually fun and despite having freaked herself out the last time she’d had fun with Sara… she can so easily remember how she’d let herself fall into it.

Because she makes her laugh and makes her not think about whatever else might weigh her down and she’s – god, she’s really attractive, and tactile. Alex isn’t sure if she was this touchy the first night they’d met but she is tonight and it makes her feel on the cusp between pleasantly warm and more-than-pleasantly-hot.

They share another glass of whiskey, Sara leans in and murmurs into her ear, “What do you say? Want to have another _thing_ that isn’t a Thing?”

Those words shouldn’t turn her on, but they do. They do because Sara is – she’s hot. She is really hot and Alex wants her, and so she takes a deep breath and wills herself to just _go with her instincts_.

And her instincts lead her to being pressed against the wall by Sara, her legs still trembling slightly and still feeling breathless from coming so hard, a half hour later.

“I can’t believe I just had sex in a coat closet,” Alex whispers, dropping her head back against the wall.

And Sara chuckles against her neck, leaning so close Alex can still feel her heart pounding, before she takes a deep breath and pushes herself up, and she uses hands that are slightly shaky for another few seconds to zip up her jeans.

Sara does the same, and her cheeks are rosy and her hair is disheveled a bit as she grins, “At least you can’t fall out of bed anywhere and hurt your butt this time.”

She groans and covers her eyes with the hand that wasn’t still wet from Sara and feels herself blush. And is extremely grateful that she’s in a dark closet and that Sara won’t be able to see it because she has had more than enough embarrassing moments with Sara, “I – that was just – it was one time! And I’d never…” she lifts her eyebrows and glances between them, “I mean, I’d had sex with a woman before –”

“Maggie,” Sara supplies with a nod and Alex just keeps going.

“Maggie, exactly. But we were, you know, together. And then you, and alcohol, and a hotel room –” she cuts herself off before she goes into a ramble, huffing out a breath.

“I get it. Last time, you freaked out a bit. But then you got over it… kind of,” Sara teases, and she is giving Alex that look like she’s far too amused with her that Alex thinks she’s been on the receiving end of too frequently in the very short amount of time they’d spent together.

Then again, they’d slept together fairly frequently for the amount of time they’d known one another too, so.

“You good this time?” Sara asks, and there’s that note of actual caring there that Alex really feels, deeply, and it gives her a rush of affection for this woman.

“Yeah. I am,” she says, and it’s surprising that it’s not even a little bit of a lie, but it feels good.

It feels good because she just had sex with Sara Lance – a crazily attractive time traveler who she’s only met on two different occasions – and it’s not a Thing, and she doesn’t feel like she needs to panic.

Mostly, she feels still a little buzzed and her body feels somewhat relaxed and electric at the same time. She doesn’t regret coming to this party, which is not what she’d expected at all.

She’s good.

Before she and Kara leave, her eyes meet Sara’s from across the room, and the blonde salutes her with a wink which – makes her laugh and shake her head, because it isn’t even surprising that Sara can pull that off.

.

“You two totally did it again!” Kara whisper-yells at her the second they step back onto their own earth late that night, and Alex blushes. “In the _coat closet_. Which – gross. But does that mean you are like –”

Her eyes are getting wider and her voice is getting more excited as she goes to finish her question and Alex shakes her head, “She lives on a different earth, Kara. In a different _time_.” And before her sister can say anything about it, she blows out a breath, “It was nothing. It was – it was just fun.”

And it’s still easy to tell herself this time. Maybe even easier than the first time.

Because now it’s been a couple of months since she and Maggie have broken up and even though she sometimes still misses Maggie, she doesn’t feel the crushing weight of guilt. She doesn’t feel like she cheated on her and she doesn’t feel like she did anything wrong at all.

She actually feels okay about this unplanned casual sex. It’s not something she plans on making a habit, of course, and definitely not with Sara, because that would be impossible.

It doesn’t mean she stops thinking about Sara as easily as she did last time, though. But, maybe that’s good, too. She can let herself dwell on good sex and the hot, hot time traveler.

.

When it happens a third time, in Star City, a month and a half later, it’s not _quite_ the unplanned incident that it was the first two times.

This time, Alex goes with Kara not-so-much-begrudgingly to Oliver’s because he’s having some sort of mayoral celebration. And it has nothing to do with the fact that Kara had teased, “Sara could be there.”

Okay.

It might have something to do with that.

Because the thing is that she’s allowed herself to think more about her hookups with Sara in the last month, especially since she’s tried to start _dating_ in the last few weeks. And it’s not exactly fun, she’s finding.

It’s not fun or exciting. She’d somewhat expected to feel the same rush that Sara had easily given her in their limited interactions, and she wants to know if she just maybe isn’t ready to feel it with someone who could possibly turn into a real Thing, or what.

Sara _is_ there, and smiles at Alex, quirking her eyebrow when she notices her and Kara’s entrance. And Alex’s heart beats a bit faster even as she repeats to herself that nothing is going to happen between them.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Sara says when she reaches her, and she’s already holding out a glass of champagne for Alex.

She rolls her eyes, “Try telling Kara that the portal Cisco gave her is only for emergencies, and keeping her away from parties.”

“And here I was thinking you just wanted to see me,” Sara

“We have a habit of seeing each other during celebrations,” the words are murmured to her shortly after arriving, before she turns to find Sara giving her an easy grin.

Which she returns, “It appears so.”

“You have a habit of looking very nice at these celebrations,” Sara says, and it’s so easy and so matter-of-fact, Alex wonders if she’s somehow practiced being smooth to women.

Either way, she scoffs, “I – no. But you, yeah.” And then cringes at herself, because _what is that_?

Apparently, though, Sara finds Alex’s awkwardness appealing because it’s not an hour later that they’re sitting close to one another, with Sara whispering to her the gossip about the people in the room, a hand landing heavy and warm on her thigh.

And when she offers to give her a tour of the estate the party is being hosted in – one of Star City’s lavish and exuberant buildings – Alex feels a thrill of excitement rush through her.

And she finds herself in a locked room with Sara ten minutes later, already shuddering as the blonde nips at her neck, “Just because we’re two for two, doesn’t mean we have to be three for three. If you don’t want –”

And Alex grips at her hair, arching an eyebrow as she rocks her hips, “Three for three,” she manages out, breathlessly, as she pulls Sara’s mouth down to her own.

When she comes stumbling out of the room almost an hour later, followed by Sara, who is wearing an unbearably attractive satisfied look, she knows what her problem is with dating other people.

It has to be that she isn’t ready to be with someone who she can actually date, and that she isn’t ready to start something with someone else yet. Which isn’t a risk with Sara, because they’re barely even friends, really. It just so happens that Sara is sexy and attracted to her, and it’s _easy_ , despite the fact that Alex initially had thought this whole casual sex thing wouldn’t be.

That has to be the reason, because she feels the rush of attraction and excitement with Sara, despite not with anyone she’s gone out with.

Later, before she leaves, Sara throws her a fingergun, which – Alex can’t keep herself from rolling her eyes but it makes her laugh.

“Til next time,” Sara says and it sounds somewhat like a promise.

It’s a promise that she wouldn’t mind keeping, she thinks, as she smiles, “Next time.”

She’s never had something like this before. Something physical and exhilarating and easy, that doesn’t have to mean anything or demand anything.

So, she doesn’t exactly rule out seeing Sara again, after that.

After all, clearly their paths end up crossing way more than she’d expected. She does wonder, though, how often you can call someone a one-night stand.

.

Three times, she realizes a couple of months later. Three times seems to be the limit between how many times you can sleep with someone and call it a one-night stand before classifying it as something more.

She realizes this because of a series of steps.

The first of which happened to be the fourth time they see one another. Which, was on her own earth. Sara, the Legends, and Barry had come from a portal out of nowhere, to help them with the alien that was terrorizing National City.

An alien that was able to jump through time and space, moving so fast it’s like a blink of an eye, and it took three days and considerable manpower and resources to take him down.

She sees Sara briefly afterwards, relaying orders to Ray, before she sees Alex and gives her that smile. The one that makes Alex want to blush without any words, like she’s convinced Sara has some sort of supernatural ability to look like that.

Alex’s arm is messed up, there’s a dull pain from her shoulder to elbow, and she can feel the entire side of her face throbbing from when she’d been thrown back and had a very uncomfortable landing.

Still she manages to smile back, “How’d you know to come?”

“Your friend Winn to get us a message,” Sara tells her, eyeing her arm critically, as she frowns, “You okay?”

And Alex shrugs with her good shoulder, “I’ll be fine,” she blows out a deep breath, though, as the words sink in. She’s going to be fine. The alien is contained, and everyone she cares about is safe, so. She’s good. But she frowns when she sees blood on Sara, “Are you okay?”

Sara looks down at her leg and seems to be surprised, genuinely, “Oh. Huh. Didn’t even feel it.”

She gets called over to her team a moment later, and Alex doesn’t know what she wants to say, but there are definitely words that she wants to let out. Instead, she just says, “Thanks. For coming, and helping, and – everything.”

Sara grins, “It’s often been said in my life that there there’s trouble, there’s me.” And Alex rolls her eyes before she feels Sara’s hand, soft and warm, squeezing her good arm, “Take care of that arm.”

“Take care of your leg,” she shoots back.

The second step is two weeks later, when she walks into her lab, and realizes she isn’t alone.

Her hand is already reaching for her firearm, before she recognizes the blonde hair and the lithe way the intruder moves.

And instead, her alarm melts into confusion, “Sara! What are you – why… how…? Is everything all right?”

Sara ignores that and instead runs her hand lightly over some of Alex’s lab equipment, “You know, I knew you were a certified government agent badass, but I didn’t realize you were also a certified geek, too,” she teases, throwing Alex a smirk.

She rolls her eyes, “I have an unfinished PhD.”

Which gets a low whistle, “Still impressive.” Sara hops seamlessly up onto one of the counters, “I’m surprised you didn’t know we were coming.”

It turns out that the time-hopping alien from a few weeks earlier not only messed up bits and pieces of their current day National City, but had also messed up different times.

Alex finds herself sitting next to Sara on the counter, “And you just, volunteered to leave your earth and come here to fix it?” she asks, because she can’t imagine leaving her own earth for an indefinite time, so willingly.

Sara is quiet for a few beats, “It’s an… agreement. We’re trying to play nice with the Time Bureau, and they wanted us to come here since we’re familiar with the alien, and all.” Then she nudges her arm against Alex’s, “Not that it was too much trouble to get us to agree.”

Sara has a temporary DEO ID and everything, as she explains that she and the team will come back to check in with the DEO after their missions, to monitor any other alien activity that they might need to keep an eye on throughout time. Especially since anachronisms are uncommon here on this earth, and their want to keep it all on lock and key.

Alex ends up taking Sara to the alien bar.

And she delights in the way Sara looks around, her mouth falling open a bit, “You know I’ve seen a lot of stuff, but this –” she gestures around, at the aliens who are living their regular lives, in the way Alex had to get used to, “– is something else.”

It’s kind of cute, she thinks, the way Sara looks around slowly, like she’s taking everything in, and then processing it, and then looking around again. And she can’t stop herself from feeling that little warm feeling in the pit of her stomach, and a bit of pride.

_She_ had something to show Sara Lance something she seems to be amazed by.

“I’ll get us some scotch,” she says, and follows through with a brand that is one of her favorites that she hasn’t noticed on Earth-1, the few times she’s been there. She wonders if they even have it.

It turns out that they don’t. Sara tells her as much when they are leaving the bar a couple of hours later.

“Thanks for tonight; it was nice to see some of the differences your earth has to offer,” Sara says as they walk down the sidewalk.

“Well, when a friend is in town, that’s what you do,” Alex reasons, even though she can count on her fingers how many people she actually considers a _friend_ , so it’s not like this is a typical thing for her.

Sara chuckles and gives Alex a sidelong look, “Friends, huh?”

She can feel her cheeks burn as she defends, “Well, what would you call us?”

Alex doesn’t think there’s another word to use to describe the gorgeous woman that you’ve saved the world with on a couple of occasions, shares your love of scotch, and can spend hours talking to you about weapons and fighting tactics and – interestingly – a shared love of bands from twenty years ago.

Who you sometimes have mindblowing sex with.

Sara is quiet for a few moments as they approach Alex’s apartment building before she shrugs, “Yeah, friends works.”

“This is me,” she gestures to the building and they both start walking slowly, “So, where is your ship?”

“Waverider,” Sara tells her, quirking an eyebrow.

And Alex shrugs with an impish grin, “Your cool time-travel ship.”

Blue eyes roll, and she can read the affection in them, “The DEO directed us out to a spot outside of the city in the desert, said it wouldn’t be noticed by anyone.”

“I know the place,” she thinks of the old base, before she frowns, “How are you going to get back there?”

“I’m resourceful,” Sara says with a wink, as they come to a stop outside of Alex’s building.

And even though she hasn’t invited someone up there in – well, not since she’d lived there with Maggie, she doesn’t want tonight to end. Of course on her actual dates with women, she doesn’t want to continue them, but Sara is… she’s a friend.

A friend who is amazing in bed, and Alex swallows hard, “Do you want – you can come up?”

Sara’s expression melts into a heart-stuttering smile, “God, I thought you were really going to make me ride all the way out to the desert at first. Besides,” she steps closer and Alex shivers as she whispers, “What are friends for?”

She can’t help but throw her head back and laugh, even as she leads Sara inside, “I don’t know what kind of friends you have.”

“Probably none that are quite as good with their fingers as you are,” Sara acknowledges, grinning as they walk into Alex’s apartment.

She slides her jacket off of her shoulders and hangs it up as Sara looks around, and Alex doesn’t want to fidget, but she can’t help herself. Especially when Sara meanders to the fireplace and looks at the pictures there of herself and her family.

“It’s not much,” she hedges, and Sara shoots her a dry look.

“I live on a time-traveling ship, Alex. This is a palace compared to my room on there… and would you look at that bed?” she throws Alex a wink.

And Alex doesn’t blush at that because she damn well loves her bed, “Well, it’s home.”

Sara doesn’t say anything to that, and Alex almost feels uncomfortable when the silence goes on for a few seconds. Then Sara turns to her and says, “Definitely big enough that you won’t be able to fall out of.”

She groans, “I’m never going to live that down.”

“Nah. Not as long as we’re friends, anyway,” Sara agrees easily, teasingly.

And Alex decides to take the initiative and stop that teasing. She steps forward, pressing her mouth to Sara’s, and the contact makes her sigh, especially when she feels Sara smiling into the kiss still. At least until Alex opens her mouth and swipes her tongue along Sara’s bottom lip, and then she sighs into her.

She walks them backwards, her hands now toying with Sara’s shirt, and she’s sort-of already become familiar with the way Sara will groan into her mouth when the backs of her fingers rub just under the waist of her jeans.

When they reach the edge of her bed, Sara reverses them and pushes Alex down under her, and she may not be familiar with having someone in her bed in months, but Sara has read her body enough in their past interactions that she sees stars.

In two hours, they’ve tired each other out – after Sara makes Alex come in her mouth and then Alex returns the favor, twice – and then Sara makes her come around her fingers – and Sara lays in bed, humming in contentment under her breath as she regains it, as Alex can barely open her eyes.

“Should I go, or wait until the morning to make the walk of shame?” Sara muses in a husky whisper, and it’s sort of a tease, but also sort of genuine, she thinks.

And open dark eye opens, sleepily, to see Sara propped up on her elbow looking down at her.

“Just stay,” she murmurs.

“You sure?” Sara whispers, “I haven’t had a sleepover at a friend’s house in years,” she jokes, even as Alex feels the blankets rustle around, before they’re pulled up over her back, and all she can do is sigh in appreciation at the feeling.

The last thing she feels before she falls asleep is Sara’s arm wrapping around her waist, before she feels her press warm and solid against her back.

She didn’t realize how much she really missed having someone to hold her at night.

.

It’s an obnoxious, loud, repetitive _beep!_ that wakes her up only a couple of hours later, and Alex’s heart is racing as she reaches for the gun she has tucked into her bedside table.

She’s fully alert and her hands are closing in on her weapon, when she feels Sara grip her wrist and stop her, “Calm down fast draw,” her tired voice murmurs against Alex’s ear, making her shiver.

“What is that?” she groans and blinking her eyes open as she turns to see the blonde, all disheveled and still naked.

Sara sighs, deeply, her body half pressed against Alex and half against the bed. And then those startlingly blue eyes meet hers, “It’s the alert that your boss gave me, and the other Legends. When the DEO detects an anachronism, it goes off.”

“Oh,” she deflates, the adrenaline leaving her, even as the beeping continues, “So, you’re leaving?”

“Mm,” Sara agrees, before grunting and slipping out of bed, walking to where her pants lay on the floor to fish out the alert and shut it off.

She’s still naked and Alex has realized for some time now that Sara has no qualms being naked. Not that she should, at all, because her body – she swallows hard and looks back up at Sara, who is grinning a bit.

“Thanks for showing me what your earth has to offer,” she teases as she pulls on her clothes.

And Alex pulls the blankets up over her head, even as she laughs.

It’s one of her the best nights of sleep she’s had in a while, though.

.

It’s shocking how easy it is to fall into this routine without even trying to.

Especially considering Alex has never really _been_ in this situation before. She’d been with Maggie, of course, but that had never been casual. Even their friendship hadn’t been casual, not really. It had been intensity from the beginning, high emotion until the end.

And before Maggie, there had been men. A couple of dates, a few extremely unmemorable hookups – now she knew why, of course.

But it’s easy with Sara. It’s so easy Alex hardly realizes that they’ve formed a routine until it’s actually formed.

It always starts with Sara finding her when returning from a mission, from another time. The first time, after her first mission, it’s a little over a week since Sara had left her in her bed, and Alex is in her apartment.

She has a carton of ice cream on her lap and Kara had stopped by for a quick dinner before she’d had to get back to work to do late-night editing, so she’s pretty settled in for the night, when she hears a knock on the door.

And when she sees Sara there as she opens it, she crinkles her eyebrows in confusion, “Sara? How was the mission? What are you – I thought J’onn said you probably wouldn’t be getting back until tomorrow.”

Sara shrugs, sliding her hands into her pockets, “Yeah, I don’t think your boss really knew how much we’ve dealt with throughout time.” She grins, “We’re a bit more expedient than he expected.”

And – well, okay, Alex can’t help but be impressed, and it shows. But then, “What are you doing here? Like, at my apartment?”

Now Sara smirks, tilting her head, “Oh, I know the woman who lives here. About your height, beautiful. I had to sort of run out on her the last time I saw her. Thought I would see what she’s up to tonight.”

“Nothing, really. Just a movie.”

She can feel her cheeks heat, and she mutters, “Beautiful?” incredulously, because – “I’m wearing pj’s that are a few years old, but you don’t need to sweet talk your way in,” she backs up and gestures.

Sara saunters past her, “Beautiful without clothes on – confirmed. And in dresses, daywear, and finally, I know you have pajamas on lock, too. Is there anything you can’t do?” she teases, taking in the couch and the paused movie on the tv.

And Alex wonders if she should kiss Sara or what, because they haven’t spent that much time together that isn’t spent in bed or touching, save for Sara surprising her at the DEO. But the blonde answers it for her, by sitting down on her couch and picking up her ice cream, “Rocky road? Good call. Never heard of this movie, though.”

It takes Alex a second to process first that Sara so seamlessly picking up her ice cream and eating it as she settles into the couch and, second – “You don’t know _Guardians of the Galaxy_? Well – this is the sequel; Kara and I watched the first one earlier but.” She starts shaking her head, “A team of misfits traveling through space; it’s basically you.”

The faux-affronted look she gets is enough to make her laugh as she settles back on the couch, and she puts on the first movie. She and Kara sometimes watch these superhero movies, and talk about the realism, but watching this with Sara is kind of even better.

Because Sara watches with a critical look, and talks about jumping through worm-holes, and Alex is so relaxed that she and Sara are falling into one another halfway through.

“For as much as I want to criticize, I’ve never actually been into space, so…” Sara whispers, her breath brushing warm over Alex’s jaw.

She murmurs back thoughtlessly, “I did. Once. Kind of.”

Sara turns to look at her, sharply, and the interest in her eyes is instant and more intense than her focus on the movie, “Now, that begs a story.”

She shrugs, “I – well, not really,” she blows out a breath, because she’s never been good with this whole being the center of attention thing, “Kara had to fly out of orbit to – kind of save the world,” because how did she even begin to explain Myriad to someone who hadn’t been there? “And so I flew out to get her.”

“Yeah, that’s not a big deal at all,” Sara replies, voice dry and amused and it makes Alex feel warm. Before Sara shakes her head softly, “You’re pretty fucking cool, you know.”

Alex scoffs, then considers, “I could probably be worse.”

Sara pushes at her shoulder and Alex willingly goes along with it, sliding down on the couch as she laughs. When she leans back in, Sara dramatically tosses her head back, “What happened to the woman who stuttered and fell out of bed a couple months ago, huh?”

She groans because she is _never_ going to live that down, even as she tosses her head back, “She wasn’t as well-adjusted to you as I am now.”

When brown eyes peer over at Sara, because she’s grown a bit quiet, she sees a more thoughtful look, “As much as I enjoyed that… I think I prefer you, now.”

There’s an unreasonably happy spot inside of her, that grows warm and flutters for a moment at the words. Before she jokes, “I haven’t even told you about the time I jumped off the balcony of the DEO last year.”

Sara quirks an eyebrow and eyes her with an interest that makes Alex’s breath catch, “Yeah?”

Before she knows it, Sara has a leg swung over her and is balanced on Alex’s lap. Her weight pressing her down, and she can feel the blonde, warm and lean and muscled and smelling subtly delicious, as her hot breath washes over Alex’s ear, “Consider me _interested_.”

But then she nips down and Alex whimpers, and Alex doesn’t manage anymore cohesive words before Sara’s mouth, hot and wanting, is on hers.

This time, Sara’s alert doesn’t go off until the next morning, and they’ve already had breakfast. The _beep_ of it is still obnoxious, though, and Alex grunts into her coffee for Sara to shut it off.

Sara laughs before doing so, and steals a thermos, “I’ll bring it back next time.”

.

She does bring it back next time. A week later, to be exact.

Alex and Kara are sitting at the command center, and Sara loops in, followed by the other Legends, who Kara happily waves at. This time, Alex isn’t surprised to see them, as the DEO had gotten notification of the Waverider when it had arrived a half hour ago.

She can’t, however, keep the smile off her face or the little surge of excitement that goes through her when Sara’s own face breaks out into a grin when she sees her. It feels – nice. To have something with someone – even just a friend.

A friend she’s seen naked more times than she is keeping tabs on at this point, but still.

Sara comes to a pause in front of them, nodding pseudo-professionally, “Supergirl. Agent Danvers.”

“Captain Lance,” Alex responds back, easily, and their eyes meet for a few seconds, before Kara gives Sara a one-armed hug.

“Sara! You’re back! How was 1694?” Kara asks, and her excitement makes Alex indulgently smile.

Even as Sara smiles back and nods, “It was good. Kicked a lot of ass. Always grateful for the showers on the ship after going back in time,” she jokes, before looking at Alex, and then presenting her with the thermos, “I was also grateful for this. Very handy in all time periods,” she winks.

And Alex grabs it, rolling her eyes, “And here I was, terrified I would never get it back from the settlers.”

Sara gets called to debrief with J’onn, and Alex stares after her for a moment, before she feels Kara’s elbow dig sharply into her side, “Ouch! Kara, what the hell?”

But her sister’s eyes are wide, “You – you and Sara! Again!” she whisper-yells, “I didn’t know that happened again after the party on Earth-1!”

Alex blushes, and rubs at her side, “Well… it might have happened a couple more times.”

Her sister’s jaw drops, “You and Sara Lance are a _thing_? You have a thing with a time-traveling assassin!”

She quickly turns her head to make sure Sara didn’t hear, before she shushes her sister. Her stomach churns uncomfortably at the implications, before she denies, “No! We are _not_ a thing. We are a…” what _are_ they? “We’re friends. Who sometimes have sex.”

Okay, who basically have sex almost every time they meet up, but what does that matter?

Kara is just giving her a _look_ , but Alex gives her a serious one back, “Kara. Don’t make this into a Thing. Because it isn’t. It’s just fun. You’re the one who said that after the wedding, right? I’m a grown woman who is unattached, and I can have fun with her.”

Her sister is giving her that look, the one that says she doesn’t quite believe her, with a crinkle between her eyebrows, as she shakes her head, “I mean, I guess so. Even though I did say that as in, having fun with Sara as a one-time thing. Not a recurring thing where she apparently spends the night with you and everything but…”

She can read the uncertainty in her sister’s face, but she brushes it off. She’s fine. This whole thing – is fine.

And when Sara is done with her debrief, Alex wonders if she’s going to go out with the other Legends, who all seem to have plans to hit up a bar they went to last time. But instead, Sara waves to them and sidles up to her.

Which makes Alex feel special in a totally normal friends way, she assures herself.

“Care to show a girl a good time tonight?” Sara asks.

And it makes Alex really want to show her a good time. So she takes her to dinner and then for drinks, and Sara asks her, “Where _did_ you get such a taste for good booze, anyway?”

Alex scoffs back a laugh, before she shrugs and casts her eyes downward, “Uh… actually, there was kind of a rough time I went through in college with –” she waves her hand in the air, “Everything going on, and drinking made it easier. Dumb,” she sighs, heavily, and she doesn’t like sharing that part of her life, necessarily.

But it’s in the genuinely curious and easily accepting way Sara nods and accepts her words without prying or judging that makes her breathe easier. Also in the way her hand lands on Alex’s, a little rough from calluses in a way that makes her hand tingle, and how she squeezes just on this side of too much pressure.

Alex likes that – and she wonders vaguely how Sara seems to know it.

“I went through something similar – actually, mine was less of a phase and more of a lifestyle,” Sara adds, self-deprecating but also matter-of-factly. “Weirdly, not when I developed a love for good scotch, that came later.”

“Weird,” the word escapes her, before she realizes it, and then she blushes when Sara quirks an eyebrow, “I just mean – how we both had that time in our lives, and then the love of the same liquor –”

“And then becoming hardcore badasses on top of that?” Sara adds, and it makes Alex laugh before she nods, holding Sara’s gaze as they sip.

When they get back to Alex’s, it’s not even a question about inviting her up again.

They both knows it’s going to happen, and Alex has her back against the door with Sara’s mouth on her neck within seconds of unlocking her apartment, “I was hoping we’d have time to do this last time after breakfast. Gotta make up for lost time.”

Alex fists her hands into Sara’s hair and arches against her. The marks Sara left on her last week had just completely faded the day before, and it seems like perfect timing for some new ones.

.

Moments like that happen… a lot over the next couple of months.

They try different foods. They watch a lot of movies. They drink. They share stories. They share _a lot_ of stories, actually.

Sometimes Alex shows her around National City, but most times they stay in at Alex’s apartment.

Alex learns about Sara’s parents and about her sister. She learns a little bit about Sara’s past and a lot about Sara’s adventures with the Legends.

Sara tells her about her past travels, and some of the new ones, too. She tells her about fixing the anachronisms on the missions the DEO sends her on, and she listens with rapt attention when Alex tells her about her missions while she was away.

She knows that Sara is brash and bold and honest and funny, and that she has a way of making Alex feel understood and at-ease. She learns the way Sara rolls her eyes and the way she smirks and the way she enjoys when Alex “geeks out.”

Like when Sara tells her that she literally came back from the dead, and Alex can’t help but ask about her vitals. And about the logistics and what _happened_ and what exactly is the Lazarus Pit made of, and – Sara laughs, amusement bright in her eyes.

And then she laughs even harder when she feels Alex lightly touch her inner-wrist, “Oh my god, are you trying to check my pulse right now?”

“I just want to check!” she defends, even though she’s quickly laughing too.

Sara’s hands catch hers and she rolls her over, trapping Alex underneath her body, effectively muting her questions, because it’s hard to focus on stuff like that when Sara’s body is pressing hers into the bed like _that_.

Right before they fall asleep that night, when Sara wraps her arm around Alex’s waist in the way she has, Alex does bring her hand back down, feeling Sara’s pulse. The steady, regular beat of it makes her feel both happy and calming a worry she hadn’t even realized she’d felt. And she also wonders _how_ is this even possible –

And Sara chuckles against the back of her neck, but lets her continue to take her pulse and whisper questions until they fall asleep.

She tells Sara about her life. About coming out late, about her intention to study science, about Kara.

It’s easy and it’s fun, and it’s like having something – someone – completely _new_ and different and hers. In the friendly way.

And if Alex’s heart beats a little faster every time Sara arrives back from one of her missions, then so be it.

.

A little over a month into this arrangement, Alex takes Sara into the sparring room, inspired by some of the stories they’d shared the night before, about the different training they’d both gone through.

“Assassins,” Alex had deadpanned while looking at Sara’s face, “You were literally trained by people known as the League of Assassins.”

Sara had looked at her, amused, as she confirmed, “Assassins. And believe me, it was not pretty.”

“A League of Assassins,” she couldn’t help repeating, again, because – assassins! And she stares dubiously at Sara, “After being _shipwrecked_?”

It makes her training with J’onn seem almost elementary, despite the fact that she’s one of the best field agents in the DEO at large. And she’s seen the way Sara fights; so she asks her to train her. Just a little.

“It’s not like you’re a slouch here,” Sara tosses back at her, “Trust me, if you think I haven’t paid attention to your moves, you’re insane.”

Alex shakes her head, even while feeling pleased, “Yeah, I’m better than average. But I saw you fight, more than once. I want to learn.”

Plus, it thrills her in a way. Thinking about fighting with Sara like this, about learning from her, like this.

Sara bites her bottom lip, before relenting, “Just a little.”

When they spar, Sara begins reluctantly. She seems like she’s holding herself back at first, wary, but Alex really _isn’t_ a slouch. And then Sara goes harder. And it’s exhilarating and exciting, even as Alex is sweating and sore and out of breath in the first hour, because she’s never been challenged like this.

She’s only been able to _really_ spar like this with aliens, and aliens who are part of her family at that. It’s nothing like it is with Sara, who teaches her and doesn’t take it easy on her, and when her body lands on top of hers, Alex’s body is so primed and buzzing, she swears all of her senses are heightened.

And Sara chuckles breathlessly only inches away from her face, with a look akin to wonder on her face, blue eyes dark, “Jesus, Alex.”

“Again,” Alex breathes back, and they do go again.

And again, once more, until Sara has Alex pinned behind the training mats, but Alex is the one who reverses them and then has Sara gasping for her this time. It’s a heady feeling, having someone who is so strong wanting and needy for you, she realizes, and she doesn’t want to stop.

Not even when she’s made Sara come around her fingers twice.

And especially not even when that obnoxious _fucking_ beeping on the alert goes off in the room.

Alex groans and drops her forehead to Sara’s shoulder, “I hate that.”

Sara drops her head back against the mats, flushed and sweating and still breathing hard, “Believe me, I know.”

.

Almost three months into it, the Legend’s arrive back on a night that coincides with a game night, which thrills Kara, who invites them all and insists that it’s going to be a _great_ time that isn’t too crowded at all.

And who is Alex to argue with that?

Sara lifts an eyebrow at Alex as her team all agrees to go, because in the last few months, the Legends have spent a good amount of time here on their Earth in their time, and Kara has bonded with them – a lot.

Alex meets her look, wondering what exactly she’s asking, before she informs her, “I’ll be there.”

“I suppose I will be, too,” Sara says, and a rush shoots through Alex when she realizes that Sara was looking at her to make plans. To confirm plans.

Like the two of them had standing plans to keep – and maybe they really did. She hasn’t slowed down to take a close look at this, because she doesn’t want to, not yet. So, she walks away with her sister, but makes sure to look back to catch Sara staring at her ass as she walks away.

She’s smirking even when Kara bounces next to her, “Oh my god, everyone is going to be here! We’ve never had a game night where everyone’s here! It’s going to be so big… we can play charades!”

Alex hums, unable to stop grinning.

When the group arrives, with various food items and booze, Mick announces that he is going to “kill” tonight, and Alex watches him with mild concern as he shoulders his way into the apartment.

She knows that it’s Sara who comes up to her, pressing their shoulders together, just by the feel of her. She watches Sara look around Kara’s apartment, before the blonde informs her, “I never really liked board games when I was younger.”

Alex grimaces, “Yeah, I was a bit too competitive for my own good.”

Kara excitedly announces that everyone should get into pairs and that she “claims” Winn for the next round because it’s trivial pursuit and the two of them always dominate.

She doesn’t even have to wonder who her own partner is going to be, as Sara whispers into her ear, “I think I’m going to need some whiskey for this.”

Alex agrees, even as she shivers, and the two of them end up sitting on the couch, as everyone is crowded into the living room. But Alex, who usually is still a little too competitive for her own good, can barely concentrate because Sara has her hands on her thigh. And her hand is warm and inches up every so often.

She can barely concentrate, and she blushes, and stutters over one of her answers, as Sara leans in and murmurs, “I just wanted to see how easy it would be to make you all nervous around me again.”

They leave together soon after, because it’s been almost two weeks since she’d last seen Sara, and Kara has more than enough people there for the night.

She still catches her sister’s questioning eyebrow as they leave, and she can see the _look_ in her eyes, like she thinks this is a bad idea.

But she can’t help it; she wants Sara.

She wants her in the way that she makes her come as soon as they get back to her place, and in the way that she loves how Sara lounges in her bed afterwards and tells her in a soft voice about what it was like in 2123, and the way she cuddles in as Alex puts on a show on Netflix as they fall asleep.

It’s good, she thinks, as she feels Sara press a kiss to her shoulder just before she closes her eyes. Sara’s arm tightens familiarly around her waist as she goes to sleep, and she’s so used to it now, because Sara is the biggest cuddler ever, that she only relaxes into the hold.

The Legend’s alert beeps obnoxiously the next morning and Sara’s arm tightens around Alex’s waist as she buries her face into Alex’s hair, as Alex groans and closes her eyes tightly, wishing death to that sound.

Sara kisses her cheek before she leaves and tells her, “Get some more sleep.”

But her bed feels a little colder.

.

Sara’s time with Alex varies, but it’s usually fairly uniform, in a way.

She’s in 2018 for periods ranging between six hours and two days. The whole two days off had only happened once, and it was an amazing weekend in which she’d taken Sara out on her motorcycle to her favorite place in the desert, before spending a perfectly uninterrupted full morning, afternoon, and night at her apartment.

Her alert always beeps, though, and Sara is almost alarmingly expedient at getting ready to go, no matter what they were doing. She’s gone for any time between four days and two weeks, and Alex ends up having one of the Waverider’s trackers moved into her lab.

Just… because.

Four months into it, they are laying in the middle of her bed as Sara traces her fingertips over Alex’s ribs, lightly over long sutures that had been the result of an alien escaping containment the day before.

When Sara frowns at the mark, and sighs, and says, “I wish there was a way to get in contact when we’re on missions,” Alex feels the sentiment down to her bones.

“Me too,” she tells her, because it would be a lie if she said that at this point, Sara isn’t on her mind more often than not when she’s gone.

Because that’s something else that’s happened now, that she’s never had to worry about. Sure, she worries – often – about her sister… but she is _here_ with Kara. She knows Supergirl’s enemies and foes, she is there at her battles. When something is wrong, she can do everything in her power to help.

But she’s realized that it’s not easy to care about someone who isn’t even in her own time, most of the time. Because Sara is in the past or the future more often than the present, and Alex has no way of knowing if she’s okay or not, until she shows up again.

And even if they aren’t a Thing, they are something, and they have a something that Alex cares about. And she cares about Sara.

She realizes how much a few weeks after that time where Sara gently touched her injuries, when Sara returns from a mission in the middle of the night. She knows because she wakes up at two in the morning, feeling her bed shift.

She doesn’t even need to open her eyes to know who it is, because she can feel the weight and the warmth, and she just _knows_ now, that scent and this feeling, even before strong arms wrap around her and warm, full lips press against hers.

“Mmf – Sara?” she blinks heavy eyelids open, meeting Sara’s eyes above her, and the intensity in them takes her breath away.

“Is this okay?” Sara whispers, her fingertips tracing over the skin just above Alex’s tanktop, and the light touch alone makes her shudder because she’s become attune to this, to feeling Sara.

She nods, stroking her own hands under Sara’s top, enjoying the weight on top of her, as she feels Sara sigh. Then the blonde’s mouth is on hers again, and it takes her breath away.

They’ve touched each other in so many ways at this point – fast, slow, rushed. In bed, in the shower, on the couch, at the DEO. Quiet, loud, laughing – but it’s never what it is that night.

That night, Sara is intense and exploring and needy and wanting. Her fingers are demanding, her mouth is possessive, and she makes Alex come like she _needs_ it. She watches Alex with fire in her eyes that she doesn’t think she’s seen before.

And when Alex touches her back, she goes slowly, taking in the way Sara trembles against her and sighs out her name, and Alex’s heart feels full.

It’s intimacy, she realizes, in a way they hadn’t felt with one another before, and afterwards, Sara rests her head on her shoulder and her entire body presses close. Alex can still feel her shivers as she runs her hands up and down Sara’s back.

“Are you okay?” she whispers, unable to stop the worry she feels. Because for all she knows _anything_ could have happened. The thought makes her pull Sara closer.

And Sara nods against her shoulder, albeit slowly, before blowing out a breath, “It was – a rough mission, that’s all. Ray and I almost…” Alex can feel her swallow hard, “We can’t lose anyone, not again.”

They don’t sleep that night. Instead, Sara doesn’t move from staying pressed body-to-body with Alex, and their breathing falls into sync, as she tells Alex, “Becoming a Legend saved my life. For everything that can happen, for as much as I wish I didn’t miss _everything_ … it saved me. It gave me a purpose when I needed one, gave me a difference to make in the world. A fight that was just _worth_ it.”

And even though they’ve shared a lot, they haven’t shared this. She hasn’t heard this edge in Sara’s voice before, and she doesn’t know how she knows that she’s special for being able to hear it, but she knows. She can feel it all over, warm in her chest.

She presses her lips to Sara’s, just to feel her, before she tells her, “You’re making a difference. You made a difference through time and space, and… you’ve made a difference to me,” she whispers, and she mostly needs to not think anymore about the fact that something almost happened to Sara.

Something that was a close enough call that drove her here, to her, to feeling this way.

It’s quiet for a few beats before Sara whispers, “You’ve made a difference to me, too.”

The day that Sara spends with her after that is _soft_ – it’s the only way Alex can think about it, and feels… it feels like there’s a shift.

She watches Alex, with her eyes big and lingering. And when they’re in bed the next night – god, Alex is happy that they’re getting so much time – Sara looks at her body slowly, purposefully.

Alex feels a little vulnerable, despite being confident in her body, but Sara is looking at her like she’s mapping her body and it makes her chest feel full. Sara traces her fingertips whisper-light over her scars, asking where she got them, and Alex tells her.

“Fell out of a tree.” And “Soccer incident.” And “My first mission. Captured the alien… but captured his claws first.” And “Gunshot. Apparently aliens use human weapons sometimes, too.”

And when the roles are reversed, and she has Sara laid out next to her, she can’t keep her eyes from mapping the blonde’s body. She’s seen it all before, more times than she can count at this point, and she’s seen all of these scars.

But she’s never lingered on them before, because they were just a part of Sara, really.

Tonight, though, she can’t stop. And even though she can feel how Sara grows stiff at some points as she runs her fingers over the marks, Sara still tells her.

“Car accident.” And “Fell down the stairs.” “Sword fight.” And “Fight with a bounty hunter.” And “Pistol-whipped.” And then, “Arrows,” Sara says, her breath hitching only the slightest bit.

It might have been easy for someone to miss, but at this moment, she can read Sara like a book, and her fingers still. Because she can tell that these are the reason behind Sara dying, and it makes her throat feel tight, too.

So she stops asking, and presses a kiss there. She might not understand how Sara is alive, but she’s glad, and she tells her so.

Sara looks at her for long seconds, before stroking her hand through Alex’s hair, and then pausing as she sweeps it behind her ear, like she doesn’t want to let go. And she whispers, “I am, too. I used to not be glad… but I am now.”

.

And when the alert goes off the following night after they make a simple dinner together, Alex sees how reluctant Sara is to reach for it even while her ears ring.

She really has grown to hate that alert. The sound that means Sara has to _go_.

Sara strokes Alex’s cheek and presses their mouths together in a soft kiss before groaning exaggeratedly, “Time stops for no woman.”

And even though Alex doesn’t _want_ to, she can’t help but grin at the dramatics, “Be safe.”

“Of course,” Sara replies, offhandedly, before looking at their food, “Next time, I’m taking you out.”

When she leaves, Alex can feel her heart still fluttering because that sounded a lot like the promise of a _date_. And she really wants that date.

.

Sara makes good on that promise, only five days later.

She leaves Alex a note that says for her to dress up a bit, and Alex is excited even as she tries to tell herself not to be, because she shouldn’t necessarily _be_ excited. Because as much as she may-possibly-potentially have feelings for Sara that are more than friendly, it doesn’t mean anything.

It can’t mean anything.

But still, she puts on a black dress, and when Sara arrives at her apartment, she’s wearing a suit, and Alex almost swallows her tongue.

It clearly amuses Sara, and Alex has to take almost a minute before she can ask, “Where are you taking me? Are you forgetting that this is my earth and my time?”

Sara shoots her a wink and says, “Don’t underestimate me. I’ve been around here for like five months now; I’ve learned some things.”

“I never underestimate you,” Alex informs her, and it’s sort-of-joking but also really not. Because Sara is capable of anything, she’s learned.

Sara takes her to the rooftop restaurant downtown that Alex has never even imagined she would be to – Kara’s told her a few times after going there on business with Cat that the food they have is some of the best she’s ever tasted.

And she moans when she tastes her dinner, because of course Kara hadn’t been exaggerating. She never does when it comes to food, let’s be real.

But when she opens her eyes, Sara is watching her with an expression that she can’t decipher. It’s amused but also soft and it makes Alex’s heart stutter for a moment in her chest as she defends, “The food is really good!”

Sara hmm’s, “And so is watching you eat it.”

She blushes.

At the end of the night, Sara walks her back to her apartment, and when she turns to go after dropping Alex at her door, she’s confused, “Where are you going?”

Sara spins around, looking at her inquisitively, “Couldn’t you tell,” she gestures to herself in the suit, “I was being a gentlelady tonight. Which means being polite and not expecting an invite in.”

She snorts, “Oh, is that what you’re doing?”

“Mhmm,” Sara tells her, before kissing her hand, “Now, enjoy the rest of your night.”

For a moment, Alex watches her walk down the hallway in confusion, because this is… well, a first. And she’s actually kind of disappointed because tonight was just so _amazing_ and really, all she could have wished for, and she wants more.

She seems to always want more with Sara.

But she isn’t going to let herself screw this up by being too much or anything, because she knows what this is. This is – they’re friends. And Sara can go back to Waverider or wherever, of course.

She’s barely stepped inside of her apartment, frowning, before she feels Sara’s hand wrap around her wrist, spinning her and pulling her into her arms in a move so smooth Alex’s head is spinning, too. But she’s grinning into Sara’s kiss, and breathless when she pulls back, as Sara is walking them into Alex’s apartment and kicking the door shut behind them, “I thought you were being a gentlelady?”

“It was a ruse. I’m not a gentlelady, especially when it comes to gorgeous women who want to spend the night with me,” Sara tells her, voice husky, and sending shivers down Alex’s spine as she nips her teeth into Alex’s neck.

“Oh? I want to spend the night with you?” she feigns, while her hands slide under Sara’s jacket to take it off.

“You really do,” the blonde tells her, looking her in the eyes dead seriously, until they both laugh.

And Alex murmurs into their kiss, “I really do.”

She wakes up to a note that says _I left the Legend’s alert out in the kitchen so it wouldn’t wake you up. I know you hate it. Good news – it worked and you’re sleeping like a baby, still. Bad news – it worked so I can’t kiss you goodbye. Until next time – Sara_

And she doesn’t know why she wants to both laugh and cry.

.

Actually, she does know why, she realizes the next day.

Because she had no business falling in love with a woman who not only isn’t from her universe, but isn’t settled in one singular time, either.

She has no business falling in love with Sara, but here she is. In love with her.

She tells Kara later that day, after being unable to stop thinking about it, about _her_ all day.

And her sister pulls her into a hug, rubbing her back, as she murmurs, “I’m not surprised.”

“You aren’t?” Alex pulls back to ask, incredulous, “Because I sure as hell am.”

The look Kara gives her is meant for an older sister to give to a younger one, not the other way around, but Kara gives it to her anyway, “Alex. Come on.”

“What do you mean _come on_?” she demands, because she feels like she’s spiraling, “This whole thing started just when I was moving on from Maggie! And I didn’t – I don’t…” she blows out a breath, brown eyes focused across the room, “I didn’t know it was happening.”

How did she not realize it was happening?

She’s only felt like this once before, and that time, that time she knew it was happening. That time, she was going headfirst into her feelings, because it was all happening the way it was supposed to.

At least, until it fell apart.

This, Sara – it was all out of sorts. All out of order.

God, why does that feel like exactly how her life always goes?

Kara pulls her back into the hug, and she lets herself melt into the comfort, even as her sister tells her “I’ve known it was coming for months! Every time you even see that their ship is back in our time, you light up. For _months_ now.”

She pulls back so she can stare at her sister, “Wait, really?”

“Yep,” Kara confirms, not unsympathetically.

Alex groans, “I need a drink.”

The sound Kara makes is a sympathetic tut, “What are you gonna do?”

Alex really doesn’t know, and Kara flies to Chicago to get her food from her favorite food truck. There have been many times that Alex has been grateful for her sister’s superpowers, but this is definitely one of them.

She bites into a taco, and Kara says, “If it’s any consolation, I really like Sara!”

She gives her sister the side-eye, “It’s not,” she tells her, dryly, because while she wants Kara to like the person she’s in love with, it feels somewhat unfair to dangle that in front of her, when she wants someone she can’t have.

Kara seems to realize it, and cuddles in close after they eat and whispers, “If this is any consolation… I think she really has feelings for you, too.”

That one – well, that also kind of feels like a tease, but it’s one that she holds on to.

.

Alex has the day off a week and a half later, and she spends it alone. Well, alone with a bottle of jack. Because she needs to think.

It was supposed to be a one-time hook-up and now Alex is – she’s – in love with her.

When Sara shows up – Alex shouldn’t smile. She shouldn’t feel like everything is _good_ and right, but she does, and the blonde takes in her kitchen, before she lifts her eyebrows, “Did I interrupt?”

But she can’t help just how right it feels to have Sara come inside and strip off her jacket, and welcome her with a kiss to her cheek and a quick massage to her shoulders. How good it feels to have Sara settle in next to her and clink their glasses together, and empty them, before Sara sets them aside.

She leans into Alex and tells her about her newest adventure, and she can’t help but watch the way Sara speaks. With her eyes and with her hands, and the way her mouth moves, and she’s mesmerized.

Fuck, she really is in love with her.

She can’t really stay in this love-panic, though, when Sara is here and making jokes to her, and making her laugh as she sardonically comments on people from her last adventure.

Sara stretches and groans, as she says, “I’ve missed your bed so much, you have no idea,” as her back cracks.

And the words warm her inside, “This, coming from the woman who said my bed was _literally my whole bedroom_ and _don’t I want anything else in here_?”

Sara rolls her eyes, “Yeah, and you told me that you _don’t_ want space for anything else in there, and I love that about you.”

_Love that about you_ echoes in her ears as Sara wanders into her bedroom, and Alex gets up to grab a snack from the kitchen and try to make herself not fixate so much. Because friends – they are friends – and that’s all.

Blowing out a deep breath, she shakes out her hands, but can’t help but track Sara’s movements, the easy way she moves around her apartment. Or the way she hums slightly as she returns to the living room.

And Alex pulls out the ice cream from the freezer as she asks, “So, where does the rest of your team sleep when you’re here?”

She says as casually as possible, even though she does wonder…

“Waverider,” Sara responds thoughtlessly as she combs through the movies Alex has. They’ve been making their way through her small-ish collection, because apparently some of the movies their earths have in common even have differences, and they both enjoy discussing them.

She wonders if Sara even realizes she spends every single night in present time with Alex. Or that the first thing she always goes to put on is one of the multitudes of Alex’s oversized sweaters.

She notices. And she likes it. Probably too much.

Before they can watch the movie, she grabs Sara by the collar of her sweater and pulls her close, kissing her. She intends for it to be quick, but she can’t resist opening her mouth, tasting Sara, stroking her tongue against hers.

Sara responds eagerly, though, wanting, and it makes Alex so _excited_ to know that Sara wants her just as much. She walks them back, until Sara’s back hits a wall, and Sara groans into her mouth as her hands stroke down Alex’s sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

She rubs her thumbs at Alex’s hipbones, gently and then hooks them into her pants, and Alex’s entire body shivers.

“I want you,” Alex murmurs, and she means it in many ways.

Sara cards her hand through Alex’s hair as she breathes back, “I want you, too.”

Alex fucks her while Sara wears nothing but her shirt, hard and fast at first, and then slower, but still wearing that shirt. And when Sara reciprocates, she comes hard gripping tightly at her back, marking her, and it gives Alex a thrill. _Hers_.

And she swears, loudly, the next day when the Legend’s alert goes off, and she _hates_ it with a passion.

There’s never enough time.

Sara sighs, “I know,” she says the words without Alex even needing to voice hers.

Then she presses a kiss to Alex’s mouth, and leaves with Alex’s sweater.

.

She spends Sara’s absence wondering if she’s alone in this. Wondering if Sara feels the same way or any modicum of the same feelings, back for her.

And she can’t help but voice it to Kara, who gives her those big, hopeful eyes, “You’re the first person she tries to find whenever she comes back. Like, the second she walks into the DEO, she tries to find you. That’s something!”

Alex wants to believe it – badly – but at the same time, “She’s the one who insisted, more than once, that we weren’t going to be a Thing. She had someone she was really in love with before, too!” and god, Alex really doesn’t want to be a substitute for that.

Somehow, that thought alone could almost break her heart.

.

Alex is at the bar a few days later after work, and she is trying to get out of her own mind and stop thinking about Sara and if Sara feels the same way for her or not, when she runs into Maggie.

It’s not the first time that they’ve seen one another since the break up; it’s been almost a year and their jobs still bring them into fairly close quarters every so often.

And every time, it begins with the tentative smile and wave, just like it does tonight, as Maggie slowly approaches her in a way that Alex can tell she’s trying to not be uncomfortable, “Hey, Danvers.” She takes a deep breath, “Mind if I join you?”

Maggie is unsure, and Alex can see it and she kind of hates it, because if nothing else, she doesn’t want this awkwardness between them. If nothing else, she and Maggie had the potential to be great friends.

So she quirks a small smile back and pulls out the chair for her, “Come on. First round’s on me.”

Maggie’s smile eventually eases a bit, after their first drink and they talk about a recent case they’re both familiar with and Alex realizes – it is really nice. It’s nice to be around her ex without feeling that awful, crushing, desperately broken feeling inside. It’s nice to feel this camaraderie they’d had even in the very beginning, without everything else that had complicated it.

An hour into it, Alex tells her, “You look good. Happy,” she is quick to clarify.

And Maggie smiles, peeling at the label on her beer before she nods, “I am. I really am.” She frowns for a moment, “You know, it took a while. But I’m – I’m happy. I’m sort of, uh, seeing someone,” she tells her hesitantly, softly.

Alex wonders if maybe she should feel something bad inside, and maybe there’s a little tinge, but mostly she’s genuinely happy. Maggie deserves to feel good and be with someone who treats her well, and she tells her as much.

“What about you?” Maggie ventures to ask, and Alex’s breath catches.

Because – Sara. Of course, she can’t not think about Sara, but can she tell Maggie about her? God, it’s complicated and she shrugs, “I’m… happy, too,” she answers, because she is. Kind of. Mostly. When she doesn’t overthink and just is _feeling_.

She doesn’t second guess anything when Maggie asks her to play pool, because that sounds like just what she needs.

Only, during their second game, she looks up when the door opens. And her breath catches as she watches Sara strut in, and she freezes where she was about to hit a corner pocket, because – god, Sara looks so good, and she feels like she’s drinking her in. She can’t _not_.

Sara’s eyes find hers and a sly grin pulls at her lips, as she starts walking over.

Just before she reaches them, Maggie murmurs, “Huh. I can see how that could make you happy.” And it’s a comment that isn’t barbed at all, just Maggie-sarcastic, but it makes Alex blush.

Because the first night she is having a relatively not weird time of being friends with Maggie, and then seeing Sara, the woman she’s definitely in love with, who somehow has had Alex’s entire body strung to her own tune since practically the moment they met – well, it’s not exactly the recipe for a perfect situation.

It makes her a little nervous, even as she can’t help but smile because of this excited warm feeling she gets just when Sara is around. When Sara returns from a mission. When Sara is safe and came back to her.

“Uh, hey! Hi,” she straightens up, tugging at the bottom of her sweater as Sara approaches the pool table, “I just – this is… I didn’t know you were going to be back today.”

She would have known if that was the plan, because the device she has in her office that is fairly accurate in tracking Waverider typically gives a good half day alert, now. And she knows that she checks it every day.

“Yeah, got back a bit early. When you weren’t at the DEO or your place, I thought I could find you here,” Sara says as she gets to the table, and she runs her eyes up and down Alex in a way that feels like a caress, before she looks at Maggie, “I’m Sara. Sara Lance.”

“Maggie Sawyer,” she offers back.

Alex doesn’t miss the way Sara’s eyes widen just the littlest bit, and then narrow as her lips draw together, “Oh. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

That’s all she says, before she looks Maggie up and down in a vastly different way than she had Alex. None of the heat, none of the smirking, and she tilts her head, but doesn’t say anything else. It all makes Alex feel a little confused, honestly, but Sara moves in closer to her, and Alex can feel her body warmth all over, before those lips press purposefully and deliberately to her cheek.

Right at the edge of her lips, really, and that’s all it takes to make Alex ache for more.

She doesn’t like these two worlds colliding, though, and Sara pulls back ever so slightly. But clearly with no intentions of going anywhere, as her arm wraps around Alex’s waist. And she definitely doesn’t like the kind of amused look on Maggie’s face.

“Well, I’m going to get going,” Maggie only waits a couple seconds to say, before laying her pool stick on the table, “See you around.”

“Yeah, you too,” Alex says, incredibly relieved, and Sara merely waves, just so slightly.

And when Alex’s shoulders untense, as Maggie walks away, she finds her hand held tightly in Sara’s, as she gets tugged to the bathroom.

Her eyebrows furrow together as she asks, “Sara?”

But she only gets an answer when Sara opens the bathroom door and shoves Alex against it in a way that’s so pleasantly rough, Alex’s body sings with it. And then sings even louder when Sara presses against her, hot and lithe and strong, as her mouth descends to Alex’s neck.

Fuck, she can’t even keep herself up without her knees going weak, because Sara goes right for the sensitive spot under her ear, and even though she knows they’re in public, she can hear herself whimper and can’t stop it.

Sara growls into her ear, “I missed you,” and Alex gasps in response, digging her hands into Sara’s back as the blonde’s hands dip into her pants, and press against her through her underwear.

“Sara,” is all she manages out, and Sara slips inside of her quickly, and makes her come so fast, Alex’s head is spinning.

And she’s still leaning there just like that when she hears Sara whisper, “Do you still want to be with her?”

It takes Alex a moment to realize she means Maggie, and she whispers, “No. I don’t,” and she walks her fingertips up Sara’s back as Sara pulls back to look at her.

“No?” she can feel her shiver, even though the look in her eyes is deadly serious, tinged with a vulnerability that Alex feels lucky to be able to see.

“I’m kind of – I’m happy, now,” she whispers, and Sara’s expression melts into a smile.

Then she looks between them and it moves into a smirk, “Now, huh?”

“Now.”

With you, she thinks, but doesn’t say it as she leans in to press her lips to Sara’s.

.

The next time the alert goes off, Alex still hates it.

But she hates it a tiny bit less, because this time, she’s going with them. J’onn thinks it’s a good way to get even more information about how this whole thing works, and there aren’t many anachronisms left on their earth to be corrected throughout time.

Alex doesn’t necessarily want to think about that aspect.

But the way Sara’s eyes seem to gleam in excitement when Alex tells her that J’onn wants her in on the mission makes Alex’s heart beat faster, especially when the blonde asks, “You boarding my ship, jumping through time and space? Sounds perfect.”

She also teases Alex when she asks if there’s anything special she needs to prepare to bring with her, but it’s light and happy, and Alex scowls at her but adores it.

The mission is to 1924, and they land in Manhattan, and she is kind of amazed. And she knows that Sara watches her amazement with a smile, but, “We just traveled through time,” she breathes out.

“We did,” Sara confirms, before stroking her hand down Alex’s back and going to talk to Gideon. Which is, like, a whole other thing Alex needs to explore, because that is insane.

Their mission in 1924 is relatively simple, she gathers from the team, and they are only gone for five days.

But she spends those five days with the Legends, who – despite spending so much time with Sara – she hasn’t gotten to know that much before. The first day, Ray answers all of her questions and asks her some of his own, about the science behind it all, including his suit, eagerly.

Sara watches them and calls her a geek. Then she takes her into her room and digs her teeth into her neck and calls her a hot geek, and Alex can barely walk the next day.

The second day, she learns the controls of the ship and she and Nick talk a lot about the comparisons between Earth-38 and Earth-1, because he’s apparently developed a fascination for her earth during their time there.

On the third day, they pinpoint the anachronism, and she goes out with Zari and Amaya while the team break off into smaller groups, on a recon mission. She likes both of the women, and finds them easy to talk to, easy to work with, and she thinks she’s found the swing of this.

Throughout her time there, she hears various comments, including a, “I get why she likes you,” from Mick. Somewhat grunted out, and followed by, “Used to be that she was hooking up with women on our missions. Hot ones, too. Now it’s always about getting back to 2018 –”

Ray gives him a _look_ and cuts him off, even though Alex’s heart is beating too hard at the words, but be diplomatically adds on, “What Rory is trying to say, is that it’s nice. Seeing Sara make, um, connections.”

Alex is fairly giddy at that, because it confirms what she’s worried about, wondered about. Does Sara feel for her anything like what she feels.

And the best part about this mission? Is that she gets to spend every night with Sara. Even if it is in her much smaller bed on the ship than Alex’s bed, but it doesn’t matter. Because it’s an every night type thing, and she – she loves it.

The fourth day is when everything goes down, and when they are breaking off into groups to tackle their plan, Sara interrupts the chatter to grab for Alex and announces, “Alex is with me.”

Which makes her heart race, and she flexes her hand against Sara’s for the brief moment they hold, and Mick rolls his eyes at them. But it kind of thrills Alex, knowing that this is happening in front of everyone like this, that Sara is fine with this _thing_ in front of other people.

After they team up and end up fighting with a group of the Italian mob, looking just like they do from movies – wow, the things Alex never realizes she’ll face when jumping through time – and when she and Sara are done, Sara shakes her head and grabs Alex’s hand and instead of going back to Waverider right away, they walk through a quiet neighborhood.

“So, it looks like you’ve been practicing your techniques,” Sara comments, and her fingers are still slotted through Alex’s.

“Well, I know someone who taught me some more moves,” she throws back, and she and Sara are both a little mussed from the fight, but it works for them.

They end up in Central Park and it hits Alex as she looks around, that she is in _1924_ with Sara Lance, and it’s… unreal.

When they go back to Waverider, they walk the length of the ship and now it’s Sara who tells her everything she could possibly want to know, as the rest of the team are scattered to their own areas. She then brings Alex to the command center and as Alex traces her fingers over the controls, she feels Sara’s eyes on her, so she turns to look back, only a little self-conscious, “What?”

And Sara tilts her head, shrugging with a small smile, “Nothing. I’m just – I’m used to being in your space. I like seeing you in mine, too.”

When they go back to Sara’s room, Sara touches Alex slowly and purposefully. Reverently, and she whispers into her ear just before she makes Alex come, “I’m going to make you come so many times, I’m going to think of you every time I’m in my bed.”

Alex does come, multiple times, and so hard she is shaking for a long time afterwards, before she tugs Sara up to her face because she wants her, and wants these memories too.

After, when Sara is collapsed on her chest and falling asleep, she murmurs, “You should come with us more.”

She can’t stop the smile or the way the words and being wanted like this warms her heart, “Maybe.”

But she knows that even though this was fun and an adventure for a short amount of time, she could never do this often. Her life is in her time, with her sister and her mother and her friends, with the DEO, and the steadiness of the life she’s built. She even misses them and doesn’t care for the fact that she can’t readily contact them in the week she’s been away.

The thought leaves her cold, though, because this is Sara’s life, and it’s not one she could adapt to herself. She barely sleeps, but holds Sara tighter against her through the night.

.

She thinks it’s inevitable, when they return from 1924, that everything ends up coming out in the open.

Because she hasn’t slept and all she’s thought about is how the life she’d just tasted, that she could never live is Sara’s actual, all-of-the-time life.

Kara bounds over to her when they get back to the DEO, pulling her into a hug, “How was it? I want to know everything!”

Alex manages a smile, despite all of the thoughts she’s having, “I’ll tell you about it later,” she promises. Because she actually does really want to talk about everything. Actually, needs to talk about it.

J’onn takes her into his office, and checks in with how the mission went, and how she is, and when she tells him, “I’m good. Everything was really good,” it’s not a lie.

Because maybe there is still a way that this can work out, somehow. She isn’t sure exactly, but maybe… maybe. She just needs more time. She just wants more time with Sara.

J’onn gives her a _look_ , before he takes a breath and nods, “The good news is that according to our timeline, we should only need to utilize the Legend’s once more before everything is back to normal.”

And – oh. It should feel good; after all, it’s been almost a year of work for Sara and her team, and for the DEO tracking something they’ve never had to worry about before. But instead, all she can think about is… when they don’t need the Legends here on their earth anymore, what’s going to happen?

It weighs on her, and unlike usual nights where Sara is at her apartment, where she feels lighter and comfortable and _happy_ , she feels like she’s going to be sick.

Sara notices, of course, that night.

They’re sitting on her couch, in the places that have become theirs – with Alex leaning against the arm of the couch and Sara leaning against her, and the blonde tilts her head back, “You’re thinking so hard I can actually feel it,” she teases, before blue eyes go soft and search her own, “What’s wrong?”

And the thing is – Alex doesn’t want to say anything. She wants to continue to stay in this little bubble that they’ve built and perfected, because it’s nice in the bubble.

But instead, she swallows hard and her fingers fidget lightly with the sleeve of Sara’s shirt, and she doesn’t know how to start. So she starts with a fact, “J’onn says you only have one more mission with the DEO,” and she tries to interject some cheer into her tone.

After all, Sara’s been running through time at their behest for months now, so… she’s probably happy, right? God, all of the sudden, Alex really wishes they’d talked about this before.

Sara leans her head so she’s laying back on Alex’s arm, and there’s a look on her face that she can’t for the life of her decipher, as she nods slowly, “Yeah. I saw that on the anachronism tracker earlier.”

She doesn’t say anything else, though, and Alex stares at her for a few seconds. Wondering. Thinking. And feeling her stomach sink like a lead weight, and the words tumble out of her mouth without being able to help them, “What are we going to do?” it _hurts_ , thinking about it.

Sara’s quiet and her eyes search Alex’s for a few moments, before she says, “We do what we have to do.”

The words hurt and Alex feels her throat tighten at them, but what else did she expect? She knew exactly what she was getting into when it came to their jobs, their lives, and she did it anyway.

When Sara cups her jaw and pulls her forward, Alex meets her mouth eagerly. She can _feel_ it inside, she can feel that this is the last night, and she knows Sara does, too, because she can feel it in the way her hands shake and then stroke and scratch firmly over Alex’s back.

She can feel the desperation in the almost bruising way Sara kisses her, and then down her neck.

They have sex on the couch and then against the wall and then when she presses Sara down into her bed, she touches her intently, because she wants to remember every single moment. She doesn’t want to forget any part of this, or what it’s like to be with someone who sees her for all she is.

When the sun is starting to rise the next morning, she knows that Sara is just as awake as she is. She can feel the tenseness in her body laying against her own, before Sara says, softly, “Maybe we can… keep doing this. We could keep it going.”

There’s an edge to her voice now. An edge that sounds the most desperate Alex has ever heard her, because usually Sara is just so – _cool_.

It makes her stomach tighten into knots. And for a few moments, all she can think about is maybe they can keep it going. Somehow. After all, she’s been doing it for months, and maybe…

“How?” the word leaves her and it _aches_ with the truth, as brown eyes seek out and hold blue ones, “How can we make it work, when I already miss you all of the time?” she admits.

And it feels almost wrong to say, because she’s been deliberately _not_ saying these things for so long now.

Sara chews at her bottom lip before she lets out a deep breath and says, “I can come back, after my missions. I can – Waverider can take me back to you, and we can keep going. And… if there’s a mission that takes a long time, I can come back to you, and it can be like months haven’t gone by. I can do that.”

She almost wants to agree. She _wants_ to agree, actually very much, but she can’t. She can’t because she already struggles with what they have now, and that would only prolong the heart break. She can’t live not knowing if Sara is okay or if she needs help or if she’s hurt, or have any way of knowing where she is.

Hell, _when_ she is.

It would drive her crazy and she shakes her head even with this feeling twisting inside of her stomach so tightly she wants to be sick, “I don’t want a partial life with you. I want –” she has to break off and takes in a shuddering breath, as she feels the first tears fall down her cheeks, “I want you every day, without you needing to leave to save time. I want _you_ , Sara. I want to be with you and –”

When she gets interrupted by that _fucking_ Legend’s alert, she very nearly reaches out to grab the thing and smash it into the wall.

Instead, her fingers twitch but stay at her sides, and her chest is heaving a little as she reaches up to wipe away the ridiculous tears that she hates. Almost as much as she hates the way she feels like she’s sick to her stomach, like her heart is breaking right in front of her.

Sara doesn’t move to shut off the alert the way she usually does, and she instead stays frozen, staring at Alex, and she can see the way Sara tries to swallow twice before knuckling away a tear, and that alone makes Alex feel like her heart is breaking even more.

She wants to say, _stay with me_ , because she doesn’t want them to come to an end. She wants them to be a _them_ , she wants them together, she wants uninterrupted days and nights with Sara here – she wants Sara to say that she loves her, and to want to stay with her, too.

The alert beeps, and Alex feels like she can’t breathe, and neither of them move for a few long moments. And then Sara takes a deep, shuddering breath, and breaks their eye contact as she turns around.

“I should get going,” she says, her voice low and rough, and she clears her throat before she says, “Just – take care of yourself, Alex.”

“You, too,” she says back and she means it, viscerally.

Sara looks at her, long and slow, before she kisses her the same way. It tastes like goodbye, and Alex’s breath shudders out against Sara’s mouth as the blonde’s thumb strokes over her jaw.

“Until next time,” Sara murmurs against her lips, and when she pulls back, she stares at Alex for a few long seconds, before clearing her throat and scratching at her chin, and looking away.

Alex can’t look away, though, because there are so many things she wants to say on her lips, and she is worried that this is really goodbye and – and she’s had _enough_ of goodbyes.

Sara leaves, though, dressing quickly, movements jerky, and Alex falls back into her bed and cries when the door closes.

She even misses the sound of the alert, in the dead silence of her apartment.

.

Kara comes over without Alex even having to text her, and she’s armed with food from Alex’s favorite breakfast place.

She sits with her wordlessly for an hour before Alex finally can’t handle it, and she lays her head on her sister’s shoulder, “It was dumb,” she whispers, “Doing this with Sara. It was so dumb.”

Kara strokes her hand over her back, soothing her, “It’s not dumb to have feelings, Alex.”

Well, somehow, Alex has managed to have feelings for – fall in love with – two women in less than three years, and have her heart broken magnificently in both cases. And it feels really fucking _dumb_.

She bumps her shoulder into Kara’s, “Seems fake.” And takes the barest amount of comfort – as much as she can – when her sister chuckles.

.

At the end of Sara’s last mission, Alex paces her lab, wondering if she should go to see her and the Legends for their last check-in and debrief.

There’s a little celebration that Kara’s planned – as secretly as she could – to thank them for everything, and mostly it’s just some cake and her sister’s excitement and awful taste in music, but Alex has been hiding out and avoiding it for as long as she could.

“Be an adult, Danvers,” she mutters to herself, and she squares her shoulders.

But she doesn’t even have to listen to herself, because there’s a knock on her door, and Sara is standing there. She’s looking more uncertain than Alex has ever seen her, and that alone is making this even worse.

Even worse because she can’t stop this feeling, this need to drink in everything she can, even while her stomach is tied in knots.

Blue eyes roam Alex’s features like they are breathing her in, too, “Well, the good news is that your timeline is all taken care of.”

“Yeah, you guys are pretty good at that,” she says, her voice a little shaky, before she blows out a breath, “How, um, how was the mission?”

Sara shrugs, “Good. The 70’s are always interesting,” she adds, and it’s in the way she smiles, with a little mystery, and little teasing, a little impishness, and makes Alex break.

She _loves_ that smile.

And she makes herself look down at her desk, “So… everything’s all set then, huh?”

Sara’s quiet for a few moments, before she pouts her lips and nods.

“And, you’re going back to your earth,” Alex adds, even though it’s not a question, but for some reason she needs to hear it.

Sara draws in a deep breath, and nods.

Alex can feel the ramble coming even before she realizes it, dragging her hands through her hair, “I mean. You’re here because you were helping the DEO. You and the Legend’s – you don’t even _live_ on this earth. You don’t even live in one time.”

The words being said out loud make her feel like something inside of her has broken loose, and everything she’s been thinking and feeling for months is racing through her, “And now, you’re going to go wherever, because that’s what you do.”

Sara narrows her eyes, and cuts in, “Where are you going with this, Alex?”

Frustrated, her heart aching, she tosses her hands into the air, “You probably won’t even be, anymore, and you’re – you’re just going to leave and I’m going to be here. In my city, in my time, on my earth, in love with you.”

The words escape her and they make her throat feel raw even as her heart is pounding in her chest. And when she looks up to see Sara again, she’s staring at her, mouth open, and surprise evident on her face.

Which – there’s no way this is a surprise, right? Alex has never been good at hiding how she feels, not romantically, anyway.

It doesn’t change the fact that blue eyes are wide and searching her face, and Alex’s chest constricts so tight, she can barely breathe anymore.

“I’m going to be here, in love with you,” she repeats, quieter, feeling the words, even as the backs of her eyes burn with tears, “And I’m never going to know where you are. Or how you are. Or – or what you’re doing. And why did we _do_ this?” the words leave her as her voice cracks, because her throat feels like it’s closing, “Why did we do this, when there’s no way…”

No way it can work. No way they can be together.

She leans back against the desk, rubbing her eyes with her fingers.

She doesn’t expect for Sara to swear and start pacing, herself, “I don’t know, okay? I don’t know. I didn’t _plan_ this, Alex. I never planned for you,” Sara says, and her voice is low and hoarse in a way Alex has never heard before, “You were – just supposed to be a hookup! This wasn’t supposed to be a Thing!”

Alex doesn’t know why she hadn’t expected something similar to that, but she hadn’t, and the words slice through her. “Yeah, but it is! It _is_ a Thing, and now –”

There’s a knocking on the open door, and she abruptly cuts herself off, as Mick is standing there, “Boss, everyone’s ready.” He gives them a look, before shrugging and walking away, and Alex is – god, she doesn’t even know what she’s feeling anymore other than heartache.

“Read the room and give me a minute,” Sara bites back, throwing him a glare, and that’s – Alex guesses this really _is_ it.

Sara’s leaving, for real leaving, and Alex doesn’t have any idea when she’ll see her again. If she doesn’t leave her own earth, she never will. The thought alone makes her want to cry so hard, her throat gets tight.

Silence hangs between them, and there’s really nothing either of them can say. It’s just – it is what it is.

“Bye, Alex,” Sara murmurs, before clearing her throat, and nodding.

And Alex can’t believe that after all of their nights together and the cuddling and the sex and the laughter and the – everything, this is how it is.

“Bye,” she forces out through the constriction in her chest, and Sara is still in her view when she can’t hold back the tears anymore.

.

Alex discovered when she broke up with Maggie that it’s best for her to _get out there_ and not wallow so much when she’s feeling like this.

Because the wallowing leads to the drinking and the feeling like shit even more and – well, everything.

Instead, she routinely keeps her schedule with Kara, who is game to do almost everything with her, including choose what to have for dinner and what movies to watch, “Whatever you want,” she tells her.

She spars with Lucy at the desert base and uses the moves Sara taught her, until her friend huffs at her, “Jesus, Danvers, you were already ridiculous before; what have you been doing to get this good?”

Sara, she almost says, then blushes at her own thoughts, before biting her lip so hard it almost bleeds.

She even sees Maggie some more, and sees her ex-fiance with another woman, and she’s genuinely happy for her. Even if it makes her wonder if Sara is with anyone else.

A month slips by, and she still aches.

She aches and it’s different than it had been with Maggie. Because with Maggie, it had been so _fast_. Everything had happened in succession – bing, bang, boom – and sometimes, when she thinks back on their relationship, it seems like the blink of an eye.

And in a way, everything with Sara felt slower. It felt like she could see every step as it happened, every single interaction, sliding into the next one, until they’d become friends and then more, and then her heart was gone.

It doesn’t even feel like a breakup, not in the same way. Because how can she be broken up with someone who she wasn’t even technically with in the first place?

She tries to tell herself that, when she goes back to the DEO the following day, and the Legend’s tracker is removed from her office, as well as from the main control room.

She tells herself she’s fine, and she throws herself into work, and she tries to not feel like Sara is going to come back from a mission at any given moment and give her that smirk and wink that she’s been missing.

It doesn’t work.

It isn’t fair that she misses Sara when she watches movies or shows that they’d talked about or watched cuddled up together on her couch. It’s not _fair_ that she thinks about Sara now whenever she sees the chipped blue mug that she had always preferred to drink her coffee out of.

It’s not fair that Sara has taken one of her sweaters, and that she wonders if Sara wears it and thinks of her.

How had someone who had swept into her life with promises of not being a Thing ended up becoming so much more?

.

They’re fighting a species even J’onn isn’t much knowledgeable about, and it has claws that injured Kara when it first appears.

So when they track it down the following day and the alien has incapacitated half of the agents who had come out and then has her sister down, Alex doesn’t hesitate to leave her designated command to shoot at the alien, walking out in the open to change his focus.

It’s a blur, really, after that. She knows it charges at her, she knows that it throws the car she dives behind to the side like it weighs nothing.

She knows she hears Kara scream, “Alex!” before she aims one more shot, and then there’s searing pain in her abdomen, those sharp claws sinking into her deep enough that she’s not on her feet anymore, and –

Then, nothing.

.

She realizes she’s in the med bay before her eyes open. She can tell that the lighting in the room is bright and fluorescent, she can hear the beeping of monitors, and she can feel the soreness in her abdomen, despite the fact that her head is still cloudy with some of the drugs she can feel that she’s been put on.

Everything inside of her tells her to rest, but then she remembers what happened and –

“Kara,” her sister’s name leaves her, her voice hoarse, but the fear is _real_ , and she forces her eyes open, gripping at the sheet covering her.

She needs to blink against the light, ultimately squeezing her eyes closed because her head is pounding, before there are hands that are both firm and soft at her shoulders, pressing her back down into her bed.

And even though it feels like every muscle in her body is protesting, she fights the hold, “No, I need to –”

“Kara’s okay, Alex,” the owner of the hands pressing against her says, and Alex’s eyes fly open again despite the spiraling pain behind her eyes, because it’s _Sara._ “Please, just – relax. Relax,” Sara murmurs, her thumbs rubbing in circles against Alex through her shirt.

And she doesn’t know what exactly it is – shock at seeing Sara, at having her here, and this reflex to melt into her touch, the one she’s been missing for months. Probably a combination – that makes her compliant to lay back in bed.

Dark eyes blink slowly a few times more, heavily, before Sara comes into complete focus. And everything slows for a few moments, like the world is falling back into place, with those big blue eyes and wavy blonde hair that is pulled back, but has waves falling out.

“Sara?” her voice is rough, barely a whisper, and she can hear her own surprise.

She looks exhausted, and worried, and – Alex doesn’t have the brain power or focus right now to examine farther, but she still looks beautiful. She gives a smile, small and shaky on the edges.

“What are you doing here?” she wonders, because… Sara was on Earth-1. Sara was on Earth-1 and who-knows-where in time.

That smile is tinged with exasperation, “Rumor had it that there was an alien on the loose and you guys could use some backup. We got here just in time to help. But Kara’s okay. She spent a couple hours in one of those sun bed things, and she spent the night in here with you. She’s out helping clean up the city now.”

Okay. Kara’s okay, and Sara… is _here_ , and Alex’s body aches and her head feels too heavy, but she doesn’t close her eyes because she’s worried that if they close, Sara won’t be here anymore.

“Thanks. For coming,” she whispers.

And Sara closes her eyes tightly, shaking her head, “You don’t need to thank me for that.” She opens her eyes and the look in them is so intense that Alex almost can’t handle holding eye contact before Sara strokes her hands down Alex arms to land over hers, squeezing, “I wish we got the message a little sooner.”

She grimaces, shifting a bit to try to look down at her own body, but Sara squeezes her again, gently, “Don’t move. You’re going to be okay,” Sara assures her, fervently, “But those claws missed your organs by _centimeters_ , and you’ve been out cold for two days. Just – you can’t go charging in front of aliens like that.”

Alex scoffs, before groaning in pain, “You would have, too.”

Sara’s lips quirk up, and she lets out a laugh that sounds suspiciously watery, “Don’t turn this around.”

Her eyes are heavy and she can’t help but close them, even as she manages to turn her hands over to hold onto Sara’s. She missed the feeling of her hands in her own, “What are you doing here?” she murmurs again, clarifying as she opens her eyes into a squint, “ _Here_? Don’t you need to… save time?”

Because if Alex has been out cold for days, that means Sara has spent the whole time here, instead of leaving.

Sara’s quiet and Alex sees how ridiculously warm those blue eyes are and the way Sara pulls in a deep breath and holds it, before she can’t keep her eyes open at all.

“I couldn’t leave you like this,” is the response she gets, moments later, when she’s started fading back out.

.

Sara’s gone the next time Alex wakes up, a day later, and Alex knows she shouldn’t be disappointed.

Because they were never even really together and even if they were, it ended two months ago. And Sara had stayed with her for days, either way; what was she supposed to expect? For Sara to stay until she was completely healed?

She tries to push aside the thoughts of the blonde, and instead, she presses her hand to her side and grimaces, but she’s able to sit up without pain blinding her.

“Alex!” Kara squeals, and pulls her into a hug that’s a little too enthusiastic, gentling when Alex grunts, “Sorry! I’m just – you’re up!”

She manages a small smile, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Her sister’s eyes roll at her, “ _Fine_ , right.”

Alex sticks her tongue out at her, and even while she’s sad with this lack of Sara, she focuses on her sister. They’re both fine, and that is enough to be happy about. She’ll make it enough, even as she wonders if Sara was really even there or if she imagined her, with those drugs pumping through her system.

When she gets up and dressed, J’onn tells her, “Desk duty. For two weeks, you’re in your lab, and that’s final.”

And he’s resolute no matter what she says, and she really does know that she shouldn’t be out in the field. For at least a week, anyway. In a week, she’ll argue with him about it again.

Still, she grumbles as she makes her way to her lab, “Two weeks. Had a broken arm and I was only out of the field for five days.”

She’s reaching for the light, before her desk chair swivels around, “Only being out of the game for two weeks for being mauled by an alien – a dhorian – is already pretty impressive.”

Sara’s sitting there, at her desk chair, with her legs crossed. She’s wearing that little smirk that makes Alex’s heart flutter, and black standard DEO wear. Alex almost jumps in surprise.

Her mouth gapes for a few seconds as her thoughts race, “You’re back? And you know about dhorians, and – J’onn didn’t tell me you were here for – are you here for a mission?” the words escape her and she makes herself snap her mouth shut before she can launch into a ramble.

But she’s so _confused_. And she can’t decide if it hurts more to see Sara, knowing that they aren’t a Thing or if it just feels too good to be seeing her that she doesn’t care about the pain.

The smirk that Sara’s wearing melts into a smile, and she shakes her head before she tilts her head to stare up at Alex. After a few seconds, her smile fades just a bit, and Alex can see the nerves clear in her expression. It’s strange, seeing Sara look nervous like this, as she taps her fingers lightly against the desk.

“I never left,” she corrects, softly, “I’m not back because I didn’t leave. I mean,” she cuts herself off and takes a deep breath as she closes her eyes tightly for a few seconds. And when she opens them, blue eyes seem to sear into Alex’s, “You were barely _conscious_ for days, Alex. When we got here to help, I saw… you were just bleeding, on the street. I was supposed to just, go?”

She shakes her head, incredulously, and Alex is just so _confused_ even more, now, and she leans back against the wall. Brown eyes close as she rubs at her forehead. She needs to take a few seconds, because just thinking about it still, about Sara’s absence about how much she wanted everything with her and having none of it – it hurts so much. And even though she feels the backs of her eyes sting with tears that she doesn’t let fall, she opens her eyes again to see Sara watching her, thoughtfully, “I told you that I loved you. After everything, I told you that I was in love with you, and you just left. So, yeah. I thought you would probably just go.”

Sara’s mouth draws closed, tight, as she inhales through her nose and then shakes her head, “I’m – I didn’t know what to do, Alex,” she says, softly, blue eyes imploring, “You scared me. You _scare_ me,” she corrects with a self-conscious laugh, “Because I thought you were just going to be this hot one-night stand. And you _were_ ,” she adds, before she shakes her head.

Blonde hair moves softly over her shoulders, and Alex can see how hard Sara swallows before she plants her hands against the desk and stands up, “But then you were always here. And you were hot and cute and sweet and badass and brilliant and I – I kept coming back, for you.”

Sara’s hands are linked in front of her, and she looks so uncharacteristically nervous, that Alex wants to reach out to her and so something – _anything_ – to help, but she can’t. Because her heart has been aching for months now, and, “Why are you telling me this now?”

“Because! Because I’ve been doing my _job_ , a job I care about with a team that I love, and no matter when I am, I can’t stop thinking about you. Because I can’t deal with seeing you in a hospital bed or on the street, bleeding out. Because I could barely leave before, and now – now if I walk out of this door, I’m terrified that there isn’t going to be a _someday_ that I can come back to here, with you,” she finishes, her voice low and hushed and pleading as if she wants Alex to understand, as she walks around the desk and closer to her.

Her heart is racing in her chest, nerves and want and excitement and _love_ , bounding together and she can barely take in a deep breath, “Sara, what do you want from me?”

Because she just needs to know. She needs to know if it is what it sounds like.

Sara’s eyes lock onto hers and she walks even close to where Alex is standing, only a foot away, before she pauses, “I’m saying… You told me, the last time we were together, you told me you loved me,” Sara’s voice is quiet and vulnerable and now she definitely can’t catch her breath as Sara asks, “Do you still?”

Alex’s shoulders sag, under the weight of it, under the heaviness of the feelings that she can’t get rid of even though it’s been a couple of months and she shakes her head, “I – what does it matter if I do?”

“What if I told you that I know about dhorians because,” she takes a deep breath and blows it out quickly, “Because I’m staying. I mean… if you noticed the outfit,” she gestures at herself, “I got a new job. Government kinda deal; who ever knew I’d go official, right?” she clears her throat in an awkward laugh and Alex can only stare in disbelief, as Sara sobers, “I talked to J’onn. And I have a new job here, at the DEO, on Earth-1. With you,” she finishes, seeming to hold her breath.

Brown eyes are wide in shock as Alex tries to take it all in, “You – you work _here_? But how? What…”

She wonders if this is a drug induced dream, and she’s still in the med-bay, imagining this. Because it seems way too good to be real.

But Sara nods again, “It’s not easy to leave the team, but I know they’ll be okay. They’ll manage, and I’ll still check in with them and see them whenever I can. Ray’s in charge, so at least they’ll be smart about things. And if I didn’t leave now, to be with the, damn it. To be with the woman I’m in love with… then who am I?” she asks quietly.

The words echo in Alex’s ears _the woman I’m in love with_ , in Sara’s perfect voice, while Sara is so close to her, all warm and smelling good, and –

She can’t stop staring at her, running her eyes over her face, but her expression is so earnest.

“You quit the Legends, to come here? And work with me?” she manages out when her brain seems to kick in again. And she shakes her head, “But the Legends… they gave you a purpose.”

She couldn’t ever take that away from Sara, no matter how much she had wanted to be with her. No matter how much she _wants_ her to stay with her.

Sara nods, still looking nervous, though, as she says, “I left my old life because I didn’t know who I was anymore. But I know, now. The Legends,” she sways in a little closer, face serious, “They gave me a purpose and helped me find myself. But fighting aliens and saving the world – _your_ world… that’s also a purpose. And I know that I’m in love with you and that if I walked away for good, I’d regret it. And –”

The rest of her words are muffled against Alex’s lips, because she can’t resist reaching out and sliding her hands over the black shirt, before gripping and pulling Sara to her, seeking her mouth with her own.

Their mouths part simultaneously, and she can’t help but sigh into Sara as she tastes her again, finally. She sucks on her bottom lip, before nipping her teeth in, and stroking in with her tongue, because she can’t get enough of her. This, this is all she’s wanted for months, now, and her hands hungrily map Sara’s body over her clothes.

Warm, solid, real.

Sara, who has her hands on Alex’s jaw, enthusiastically kissing her back, and making the little whimper sounds she makes when she’s really happy, in the back of her throat.

When they draw back, she’s grinning like an idiot, and she feels Sara’s thumbs stroke over her cheeks, “Does this mean you’re still in love with me?” Sara murmurs.

There’s a teasing smirk on her face and laughter in her voice, and it warms Alex all over. And she nods, pressing her forehead against Sara’s and breathing her in, “Yeah. Yes, I’m in love with you, Sara Lance.”

How could she not be?

Any tension that was still left in her body leaves, and Sara grins, cheekily, “Good. Imagine how embarrassing this would have been, otherwise?”

She rolls her eyes, but can’t help but laugh. “How would you have recovered?” she agrees.

“I wouldn’t have. I would have made you fall in love with me again,” Sara informs her, leaning in to press another kiss on her lips. Soft and short, but it melts her. “Would have seduced you, all over again. It worked once,” she says, teasing, only pulling back enough so that their faces are inches apart.

Alex stares into those playful bright blue eyes, and wonders how this is her luck. And she knows Sara is joking, but, “Yeah,” she murmurs, “It did. And now,” she adds, and she knows she has a gleam in her eyes, “No more alerts.”

Sara laughs, and the sound is everything, as she agrees, “We have all the time in the world.”

All of the time in the world sounds pretty damn nice.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
